Ducks and Rivers and the Moon
by saltlines
Summary: Ekaterina never wanted to be an archaeologist. But there is one woman who will change her mind, her heart, her soul, her life, forever.
1. Deep Space Archaeology

Ekaterina Utkin never wanted to be an archaeologist. It was a dirty, tacky profession for old men and future single mothers.

But things change. Well, her determination not to become an archaeologist hadn't diminished, and neither did her distaste for the subject.

However, here Ekaterina was, in An Introduction to Deep Space Archaeology, listening to an old man drone on and on about the Byzantium and Alfava Metraxis.

Granted, listening was probably too strong a term. In actuality, she was staring across the room at once of her classmates, a small smile on her lips.

She was staring at one of the older students, a woman with a fabulous head of curly blond hair. Unfortunately, the woman was not smiling back. Instead, she was taking notes, actually listening to the lecture.

Out of all the things Ekaterina has seen at Luna University, this is one of the strangest. The woman has no particular interest in Archaeology, it seems, but she still pursues it with a fiery determination.

The woman looked up, catching Ekaterina's eye with a stunning grin. Ekaterina blushes fiercely, and looks quickly down to her notepad.


	2. Ducks and Rivers

After class, Ekaterina waits at the door for her friend, who is, undoubtedly, complaining to the Professor about some inaccuracy or other.

Ekaterina doesn't have to wait long though, because apparently the Professor was having none of "that nonsense today, thank you very much".

"Hello Duckie. You waited again."

"I always wait, Peкa, you know this." Ekaterina's accent was strong, barely diluted by her years away from home.

"Yes, it seems so. What if one day I don't come back?" The woman smiles warmly at her young friend, teasing.

"Then I will be waiting anyways." Ekaterina pouts. She never liked being made fun of, much less in English. It is always harder to differentiate intentions in a foreign language.

"I know, Duckie. That's what makes you special."

"I am not special, Peкa, just Russian. We are patient, to be outlasting the winter."


	3. Tenses and Clauses

But Ekaterina knows that someday, her Peкa will leave and not return. Peкa has told her this, been very clear about this. But Ekaterina doesn't mind, not terribly.

When you love someone, you can wait an eternity. When you love someone, you take Archaeology just so you can follow them.

Her Peкa knows this, understands this, but she does not like it. Peкa says her life has been dangerous, and will be again. But Ekaterina doesn't mind, not terribly.

Ekaterina has always wished to travel. Lunar University is the farthest she has been from home, and even that's just like crossing the street. Peкa has gone everywhere, or will go.

Ekaterina has difficulty understanding, sometimes, when her Peкa talks. Peкa talks in flowing tenses, changing from past to present to future to conditional to everything and anything, just in one sentence.

English is difficult for Ekaterina. There are too many verbs, to many clauses, to many everything. But Russian is harder for Peкa.

Sometimes Ekaterina forgets, sometimes she answers in her native tongue, writes, cries, hopes, but then she is misunderstood. To speak a foreign language to a crowd, it is to be foreign of yourself.

But Peкa understands, Ekaterina thinks. Sometimes Peкa is foreign, as well.


	4. я люблю тебя

Ekaterina has learned it in half a dozen languages. Jeg elsker dig, دوستت دارم, seni seviyorum, σας αγαπώ, احبك, я люблю тебя, I love you.

She has yet to say it, but she thinks it, over and over, я люблю тебя, Peкa. Jeg elsker, Peкa. Seni seviyorum, Peкa. I love you, Peкa.

Ekaterina can tell, that her Peкa knows, but still, she cannot say it. It is difficult. They are on the луна, the moon, surrounded by strangers and aliens and foreigners.

Sometimes, Ekaterina thinks, it is harder to be being foreign than to be being an alien. To be alien, that is an excuse. You can say you are from other planet, you do not understand. But to be from Earth, and still be lost?

Ekaterina misses her home, a very small town in Сибирь, in Siberia. Isolated from the speedy progress of the rest of the Earth. Steadfast in the tide.

Peкa reminds Ekaterina of home, somehow, even though Peкa couldn't be less русский, less russian, if she tried.

But Peкa can cook, with real food. Peкa can knit, and sew. Peкa can smile, can hold off the coldness of winter, the coldness of deep, dark space.

Ekaterina loves her Peкa, loves her more than a thousand bright springs. But Peкa is walled off. There is something in Peкa, something inside, that keeps her just a little too far away.

Peкa could never truly be loving Ekaterina. She is fond, and loyal, and sweet. But never is she in love with Ekaterina. There is something else, someone else, anything and everything else, holding her back.

And Ekaterina doesn't care.


	5. With Staying

Peкa is leaving. There is an expedition, a dig, far away, and she is going. Peкa is leaving Ekaterina.

Ekaterina is thinking that her Peкa will not be returning. Peкa does not challenge this thinking.

Shivering, Ekaterina is on Peкa's bed, curled up in blankets and sweaters and scarves. It is always to cold on the луна, on the moon, even now, especially now. Peкa is packing, storing all her memories and thoughts and everythings and anythings into two small suitcases. It shouldn't be enough, but it is.

Ekaterina wishes to go with her Peкa, but she cannot. She would not. She will not. Peкa says that she wishes she could stay, but she would not, will not, cannot, does not. It is the first time Peкa has lied to Ekaterina.

Peкa is done. Done with packing, with staying, with the Moon. Peкa is done with Ekaterina.


	6. As Forever

They are at the Dock. Ekaterina is waiting for Peкa, as usual, as always, as forever, waiting for Peкa to answer. Peкa is waiting for Ekatering to ask.

"Are you sure, that I cannot be going with you?" Ekaterina is shaking, shivering, trembling, but not, today, from the cold.

"No, Duckie. You have to stay. This is where you belong, for now." Peкa smiles her sad, slow smile at Ekaterina.

"But Peкa-" Ekaterina is desperate. She cannot let go of her Peкa, her love, her life.

Peкa interrupts her Duckie's plea with raising a hand to Ekaterina's face. "Call me by my real name," the woman says sadly.

"мелодия. My мелодия, do not leave me, please, do not be leaving me." Ekaterina's accent is harsh, her throat, her eyes, her heart, her soul full of tears.

"I must, my утка. я должен тебя покинуть." мелодия's Russian is terrible, her vowels and consonants and intonation all wrong and dischordant, just like her leaving, her running.

"I am knowing this, but пожалуйста, but please." There are tears running down Ekaterina's face, running from her eyes to мелодия's hand. From Ekaterina to мелодия. From heart to heart, mind to mind, soul to soul.

мелодия just smiles again, that same slow, sad smile that breaks Ekaterina to pieces, that breaks her heart and soul and mind and life.

Ekaterina grips the hand that is on her face, like it is her lifeline, her only tether.

"I am so very, very sorry, my утка. I truly am." мелодия leans down and kisses Ekaterina, shattering the fragments of the girl's heart.

There is nothing left of Ekaterina, just skin and muscles and bone. Everything that matters is broken, is in pieces, is floating, is drifting, is dissapating.

When мелодия, when Peкa pulls away, turns away, walks away, the only thing left in Ekaterina is words. And then, suddenly, those are escaping, running, falling as well.

"я люблю тебя, мелодия!" Ekaterina cries, desperation evident in her voice, the remnants of her heart escaping through her words.

мелодия is confused, she does not understand. The words are too foreign, to far removed.

Ekaterina stomps her foot, angry, frustrated. English is too hard for her right now, to far away. But still she tries, stumbles. "I am loving you, my Melody, my River."

Melody just closes her eyes, holding together, keeping composure. Peкa and мелодия are to be gone, to be left on the Moon with Ekaterina. They cannot follow where Melody is going, where River is going.

And Ekaterina is knowing this, is hating this, is caring about this. Ekaterina does not want to be left behind.

But Melody is leaving, is turning away, is running away, and is never going to be coming back, not ever. For she has found her hopeless love, and there will come a time where she will regret ever leaving her утка.


End file.
